Missydarkfantasy's Journal
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3 entries this month
My Blame
01:45 Nov 29 2007
Times Read: 547
My life has changed so much I'd say, I had a dream that went away, I had a husband, I had my kids.
My dream had passed before my eyes, no longer am I married, my boys are now long gone.
The pain inside my chest is there a daily reminder of a dream once shared.
I tip up the bottle to drown my sorrow and wipe the teardrop from my eye, a promise that will never die that my life wont be lived a lie.
The daily pain he caused me was enough for me to die inside, he gave me my freedom but took my life,
He punished my soul and killed my heart. I ask the barkeep for another and drink my beer to kill my sorrow.
My problem soon developed to a drunken rage, please one more to kill the pain now my life is in vain.
The laughter of my boys now gone no more reason to go on.
Another morning that I wake with these feelings I cant take. My reason to live has left me now, the hallways silent to hear laughter no more, my empty soul is how it goes, the bottle now my only friend to help the pain slowly mend.
My life falls short and will soon end I would die to hear my children say we love you mommy in everyway. but my shame in choices I have made hides from my kids today.
I blame my husband, but it was my failures I have made put me where I am today a hopeless heap in to deep.
Another day another time cant keep the bottle from my mind. I cant survive I cant endure. I caused enough pain to my life its time for me to end my blame.
I lie there on the floor alone shut my eyes and pull the trigger......
Addiction
02:20 Nov 05 2007
Times Read: 558
As I look in the mirror what do I see, a wasteful soul that used to be me.
What have I done? What have I become?
I take a second glance at my reflection, I dont even recognize myself anymore.
A shallow shell of what used to be me.
The spark I had in my eyes now gone, my zest for life no longer exsists.
A scared feeling shoots through my blood, a secret I hold inside my soul killing me quietly no way to gain hold.
My once good life spirals out of control, My addiction has taken total control.....
Thoughts of You
01:31 Nov 04 2007
Times Read: 578
As I lay in bed alone at night my mind wanders,
Thoughts of your laughter, and thoughts of your voice.
Thoughts of being able to run my fingers through your hair, the thoughts of your arms holding me tight
My mind wanders as I stare at the stars.
Thoughts of your kiss, and the thoughts of the way you would touch my skin.
Thoughts of your passion in the way we make love.
The thought that I think don't come from above.
The thought of you out there as I look at the stars, do you look at them and have thoughts of me to?
As I begin to drift off to sleep the thoughts of how soon I will feel your touch and taste your sweet kiss.
The thoughts of you in my mind as I sleep the dreams so right as I sleep through the night.
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